By the looks of Facebook someone I used to know just got a Ferrari and I don’t know how I’m going to pay my rent next month or buy food.
The world is so cruel and gives to those who are undeserving and makes the innocent suffer.
Feeling lonely after finding some photos on my phone of the guy I was dating before, the one who decided he didn’t want to commit and basically I wasn’t good enough. I really liked him.
Feels like I’m never going to find anyone else.
I’m too poor to go out and do things and see my friends so I’ve just been bored at home all day. Sleeping a lot, probably too much. I was lonely when nobody else had moved in to the student house yet but now it’s just annoying and theres only 1 other person here. She’s been hogging the washing machine all day. Uni starts next week. Been having problems with my printer so I can’t photocopy the documents I need for my pip claim or my dsa meeting. Nothing is going right for me.
If this is all my life is going to be it doesn’t feel worth living.
feeling sad and lonely today :(
Some girl who is recovered from anorexia posted before and after recovery photos on Facebook which was so fucking triggering so I said something and just urgh. She’s all like “I’m don’t want attention I just want to raise awareness”.
She went on the ED section of Supersize vs Superskinny I mean who does that unless they want attention? That show is so warped and not educational when it comes to EDs, it’s all about shock factor not reality and… thats another topic for another time.
Anyway so that and now posting thinspo comparisons on Facebook and she doesn’t seem to care if it effects anyone negatively she just wants attention from everyone else.
It’s not good for ED awareness anyway because it just enforces the stereotype of you have to be emaciated to have an eating disorder which is bullshit because you can be any weight shape and size.
Then some bitch I went to school with liked one of her comments to me like it’s her business. Learn what your talking about bimbo then maybe you will be entitled to an opinion but she has no idea what it’s like to have an ED or how that post effects somebody who isn’t recovered so she can fuck off.
Also what irritates me is she was only sick for like a year. I’ve been struggling for 6 and am only just starting to get somewhere with recovery. Do I get any praise or pats on the back for doing so? No. So why should she.
This whole thing has just made me really angry and triggered and I can’t go to sleep now.
Just had a long talk and cuddle with my mum but I don’t feel any better.
I feel so empty inside.
Evidently I can’t continue reading Allegiant right now because this Tris / Tobias relationship makes me want to hang myself so instead I’m going to try and watch AHS.